Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
