i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
