We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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