the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
