i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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