The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Even my vagina gasped.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
