i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
