The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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