If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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