Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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