i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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