Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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