Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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