Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
