if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
