Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
