Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
