i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize