I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
