he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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