matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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