you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
