Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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