all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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