can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
