Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i think im in europe. pls send help
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
