ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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