My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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