what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
