The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
