Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
