Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
