I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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