We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
