hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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