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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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