I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
