OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
