yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
