College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
