I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
