god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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