I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
