can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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