Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
