Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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