I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's even glitter on my cock...
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