Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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