I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
