It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
