And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize