Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
