I'm really into asian looking animals
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
