worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
