Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
