Dual....:-)
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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