hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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