honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize