You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
