I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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