There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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