I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
