you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Four minutes until I can fart!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize